Home.

We have packed and unpacked.  Coordinated, scheduled, and organized.  And for the first time in almost 9 months we have a place to call our own.  Our own sweet little home.  A 750ft apartment in Framingham, MA that meets all our needs and is beyond all our expectations.  Wow.  God Provides.

  

Thank you to everyone who has kept us in prayer, all the kind emails you have sent encouraging me to keep my hopes up and to not give up.  The understanding & love you showed on my most difficult days.  And all the generosity that has been poured upon us and our lives to make this transition as easy as possible.  Wow. I am richly blessed.  I am looking forward to setting up my studio and getting back to work.

The following passage of scripture is on my refrigerator to remind me to not forget what we have gone thru over the past 8 months.  Those dark and terrifying days of wandering had purpose.

Remember how the LORD your God led you through the wilderness

Humbling you and testing you to prove your character,

and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands.

Yes, he humbled you... He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone;

but by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

Just as a parent disciplines a child, the LORD your God disciplines you for your own good.

So obey the commands of the LORD your God by walking in his ways and fearing him.

For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land.

It is a land where food is plentiful and nothing is lacking.

When you have eaten your fill,

Be sure to praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you.

But that is the time to be careful!

Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the LORD your God

and disobey his commands, regulations, and decrees that I am giving you today.

For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in,

and when your flocks and herds have become very large

and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, be careful!

Do not become proud at that time and forget the LORD your God, who rescued you.

Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness.

He did this to humble you and test you for your own good.

He did all this so you would never say to yourself,

‘I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy.’

Remember the LORD your God.

He is the one who gives you power to be successful,

in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.

But I assure you of this: If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods,

worshiping and bowing down to them,

you will certainly be destroyed.

Just as the LORD has destroyed other nations in your path,

you also will be destroyed if you refuse to obey the LORD your God.
Excerpts from Deuteronomy 8 (NLT) with emphasis added.

A hope that will not lead to disappointment.

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." - Romans 5:3-5

 I hate to say that I have become accustomed to disappointment. Especially recently. I have been trying to keep a happy heart despite several delays in our moving plans. Right now we are living like wanderers. Without the network of family/friends who let us sleep on their air-mattress, couch, and futons -- we would be homeless. We have been fed, clothed, and given a bed - all thanks to the most generous network of Christians. All fulfillments of God's promises. And God knows who you are.

 Yet my selfish heart is weighed down with 8 months of temporary after temporary. I miss my husband. I miss our nest. I miss our time. I miss having a day, just a single day, to spend with my beloved. I miss feeling like a wife. Cooking and cleaning and snuggling and enjoying the man God blessed me with. My heart is near to broken. I feel like a widow to a ghost. I am trying - SO HARD - to stay happy and joyful and optimistic.

We were hoping to move in today (today is our 11 year dating anniversary and I was looking forward to cooking our first meal in our own kitchen in 8 months) but there was a delay in preparing the apartment. So we are hoping to move in on Tuesday if there are no other delays. Our friends and family all work on Tuesday - and Brian has an important inspection going on that day. So I will probably be moving everything I can by myself until Tuesday evening. Hoping to have a bed & table in the apartment, and then couches will arrive on the weekend.

 I mailed checks to my bank in Oregon last week, and am hoping that they will be deposited in time so that we can write our first rent check. But if there's a delay in that - we might as well postpone everything until Saturday. Brian's first paycheck was delayed a week due to new hire paperwork. So I am having a sale in my shop - 30% OFF everything with you use the Coupon Code VDAY30. My Happy Valentines gift to you for all your love and support and business that has carried us thru this difficult time.

We are so near the end. I don't want you to think that I'm a depressed, melancholy complainer. I don't want to be that. I'm just weary, lonely, and disappointed. I hope after all of this, and whatever difficulties life brings in the future, I will continue to hope in salvation. Because in dark days like this, that is the only hope I have left.